Not-so-Secret Spy Mission

Once we realized the fleas were spying on us for them, we sat very quietly staring at the wall behind the futon, waiting for them to emerge. Then the wall blew up and we made our way through the tunnel behind it to the burrow. The six or so of us huddled in the dirt, peering out the window overlooking the majestic valley interrupted by their giant machines and evil operations. Our leader determined at last that the plates were coated, and that any food we prepared from home grown produce would also be contaminated. He marched us to the stairwell where he made their henchmen bring us clean plates. We divided up and locked ourselves in the two hall bathrooms. I ended up alone with the leader. We began to fill the bathtub so we could sleep safely. He insisted on doing everything facing the mirror.

We were interrupted by a request to report. The wall opened like french doors, the bathtub splitting in half. We entered a room filled with aquariums and women, scantily clad in tight leather and spandex, many wearing capes or masks. At the signal, all knelt down in front of the throne in the corner (with much difficulty in tight gold spandex miniskirts). I was standing behind it, so I never got to see the boss, but an old woman's voice asked the leader of my group to report. He replied, "I have done everything you suggested. I became friends with the curly brown-haired one."
"Good," the woman replied.
"...Things also progressed from there. I didn't expect to fall in love with her."