Not-so-Secret Spy Mission

Once we realized the fleas were spying on us for them, we sat very quietly staring at the wall behind the futon, waiting for them to emerge. Then the wall blew up and we made our way through the tunnel behind it to the burrow. The six or so of us huddled in the dirt, peering out the window overlooking the majestic valley interrupted by their giant machines and evil operations. Our leader determined at last that the plates were coated, and that any food we prepared from home grown produce would also be contaminated. He marched us to the stairwell where he made their henchmen bring us clean plates. We divided up and locked ourselves in the two hall bathrooms. I ended up alone with the leader. We began to fill the bathtub so we could sleep safely. He insisted on doing everything facing the mirror.

We were interrupted by a request to report. The wall opened like french doors, the bathtub splitting in half. We entered a room filled with aquariums and women, scantily clad in tight leather and spandex, many wearing capes or masks. At the signal, all knelt down in front of the throne in the corner (with much difficulty in tight gold spandex miniskirts). I was standing behind it, so I never got to see the boss, but an old woman's voice asked the leader of my group to report. He replied, "I have done everything you suggested. I became friends with the curly brown-haired one."
"Good," the woman replied.
"...Things also progressed from there. I didn't expect to fall in love with her."

Olympics?

I finally decide to go running. After about a block, I realize that my form is excellent, and I should try and go faster. As I lengthen my stride, I see a group of runners ahead of me, dressed in bright yellow full-body spandex suits. They all have huge thighs, and I assume they are sprinters who are really, really good. Somehow I catch up to them with little effort and fall into the middle of their pack. They ask me if I'm Julie, and I say yes.

We get to a huge track near Chelsea Park that I am surprised I'd never seen. One of the runners, a tall attractive blond, gives me a yellow spandex suit. When I put it on, I notice that my thighs also look huge and muscled. I realize that I am at the Olympics, and they have mistaken me for one of the competitors. I feel guilty for taking her spot, but it's really her fault for not being there.

The tall attractive blond gives me a glass of water but reminds me not to drink it. I notice that his glass of water says Bri on the side, which I assume is short for Brian. Mine says Julie. Again I feel guilty, but I'm excited for the race.

There are four runners on the starting line. I am on the outside lane, but we don't have a staggered start. As I begin to point out the unfairness of the situation, the gun goes off and I start sprinting. I don't know how long the race is. The woman on the inside of the track is way ahead of everyone, and as she completes a lap, she stops running. I look to the side. There is one runner way behind me, but Bri is right next to me, and I know that I have to beat him if I want Julie to win the Olympics. As we round the last turn, Bri dumps his glass of water out in front of him, and the stream of water races around the bend of his lane, way ahead of us. I dump my water out too, but not all of it. My stream of water starts to catch up to his, and when his is inches from the finish line, I dump the rest of mine out and it shoots ahead just in time to beat him.

The first thing I do after I get my silver medal is take off my hideous spandex suit. I look to the middle of the field and I see Bri laughing with some of his fans. I decide that I really like the name Bri. I try to ask him if he wants to go get some coffee, but he can't hear what I'm saying.