Olympics?

I finally decide to go running. After about a block, I realize that my form is excellent, and I should try and go faster. As I lengthen my stride, I see a group of runners ahead of me, dressed in bright yellow full-body spandex suits. They all have huge thighs, and I assume they are sprinters who are really, really good. Somehow I catch up to them with little effort and fall into the middle of their pack. They ask me if I'm Julie, and I say yes.

We get to a huge track near Chelsea Park that I am surprised I'd never seen. One of the runners, a tall attractive blond, gives me a yellow spandex suit. When I put it on, I notice that my thighs also look huge and muscled. I realize that I am at the Olympics, and they have mistaken me for one of the competitors. I feel guilty for taking her spot, but it's really her fault for not being there.

The tall attractive blond gives me a glass of water but reminds me not to drink it. I notice that his glass of water says Bri on the side, which I assume is short for Brian. Mine says Julie. Again I feel guilty, but I'm excited for the race.

There are four runners on the starting line. I am on the outside lane, but we don't have a staggered start. As I begin to point out the unfairness of the situation, the gun goes off and I start sprinting. I don't know how long the race is. The woman on the inside of the track is way ahead of everyone, and as she completes a lap, she stops running. I look to the side. There is one runner way behind me, but Bri is right next to me, and I know that I have to beat him if I want Julie to win the Olympics. As we round the last turn, Bri dumps his glass of water out in front of him, and the stream of water races around the bend of his lane, way ahead of us. I dump my water out too, but not all of it. My stream of water starts to catch up to his, and when his is inches from the finish line, I dump the rest of mine out and it shoots ahead just in time to beat him.

The first thing I do after I get my silver medal is take off my hideous spandex suit. I look to the middle of the field and I see Bri laughing with some of his fans. I decide that I really like the name Bri. I try to ask him if he wants to go get some coffee, but he can't hear what I'm saying.

Epic

We begin the saga on a flat, featureless prairie. We are on the outskirts of some sort of amusement park, but there are ominous overtones to the place. Standing by a water slide that is reminiscent of hamster mazes, we discuss the issue of the park's evil overlord and the many deaths that have recently occurred. We decide that escape is a necessity.
I go to saddle my horse, only to find that I never unsaddled him yesterday. He is quite disgruntled at that fact, and when I lead him out of the pen he bites my arm and will not release me. He is carfeul not to hurt me, though.
As we ride out of the yard, we are confronted by a large, rusty, hovering robot. It cackles evilly. I try to ride around it, but it is having none of that.
It morphs into a pyramidic wizard, clad in purple robes and hat. He transports us onto a flate plane of ice, where the sun shines glaringly and there is nothing but ice and sky. As he flies around us, he leaves a technicolor trail of slime behind him, which we must avoid in our escape. As my horse and I are fairly adept at avoiding him, he summons two beings, one female, one male. The man, which I gather to be the sun, glimmers with moving colors on the cool end of the spectrum. The female, the moon, shines with orange, magenta, and yellow, much like the slime in Mario Sunshine. I avoid their balls of slime, galloping across the ice, and scoop up the penguin that they are suddenly attempting to obliterate. We make it past a stand of pine trees and are transported out of the ice plain.

I am standing on the sidewalk along 1st at night. I am wearing some sort of spandex suit, bright yellow, designed to keep me from being seen. My companion, a veteran at these nighttime excursions, is clad in white spandex. We are trying to cross the street. He claims that if he flashes a very bright light from the stoplight above, the people in the cars will not be able to see us and we can cross in safety.
Doing so, we scoot across the street and to the pet store. My friend picks the lock and we sneak inside. I look through the bin of colored plastic snakes for the ones that will provide us with a key, as he goes to the back to look for something. Sorting through the snakes, a notice a small child standing in the doorway, curiously. I decide they will not do any harm and go back to my snake-sorting. Glancing back up at the child I realize it's actually a skunk! I exit hastily.

I am a butler for a wealthy victorian family. I have found an estate for them to live on. Visiting the house, the real estate agent says it will be good publicity to have an idyllic family living here. In a yellow and green bedroom filled with sun, the wife says she'll not be idylllic if she were paid a million dollars. The agent looks disappointed, but sells us the house anyway.
Some time later, the daughters are seen playing on the lawn as a procession of dignitaries winds its way up the drive to the house. As a wealthy man gives a speech, the wife comes downstairs and announces that her husband is dead. At this, the man speaking goes stiff and dies, too. They try to bring the husband down the stairs into the room, but realizing that two dead men in a room is bad luck, they stop hastily and try to backtrack. The only succeed in dropping the dead man, much to their consternation.