What the Hell Is Going On?

My alarm has gone off.

I am awoken by my mother and sister returning to the house. I am alarmed, because if they are back, it means I have missed the IB test, which is at one o'clock. I glance at the clock. It says 5:07.
My watch says 2:38.
Panicked, I run out into the family room in my pajamas. The wall clock says 11:43.
My watch now says 7:24.
My father sits at the computer playing Everquest.
"Dad, what time is it?"
He tells me it is 11:43, like the clock says. I sigh in relief, but do not bother to reset all the clocks that are wrong. I know they will simply get off as soon as I turn around.
On the coffee table are mounds of food that look absolutely delicious. My mother and sister are sitting on the sofa, stuffing their faces. They have returned exhausted and famished.
The After Eight Mints and the bean dip are especially tempting, but I am not allowed to have any, as my IB test is in ten minutes. I am sorely disappointed. They will eat all this food without me.
"That guy was so wasted," my mother proclaims around a mouthful of chocolate. "Wasted."
"He always is."

I wake up, my alarm going off again. I try to roll out of bed to shut it off. I open my eyes to find that my floor has become cold and grey, and it is covered in maps of France and Europe. I am trying to put my feet on the floor, but something is obstructing me. Opening my eyes further, I realize that gravity is pulling me from the right. Instead of facing the center of my room, I am, in fact, facing the wall, with my feet up against it. No wonder I couldn't get out of bed.

Never before has sleep been that disorienting.