Moral Dilemmas

I am independent from my family now; I decide to attend some sort of function at my old church, to see all the people that have forgotten me.
Standing in line for the bathroom, I allow several incontinent old women to cut ahead of me. When it is finally my turn, I enter a long yellow hallway with a toilet at one end. Another doorway opens onto the gathering hall; it does not have a lock. I close both doors and quickly take care of my business, hoping no one barges in on me. I am successful.
I procceed to the sanctuary. None of the lights are on, the colors seem faded and grey. I see an old friend sitting in a pew where the pulpit used to be. Sliding in behind her, I tell her, "I vant to suck your blood!" It seems to be appropriate for the situation, turns she turns and gives a welcoming smile. In a pew futher up sits another girl I haven't seen in years. In my absence, she has undergone a sex change and is now wearing only nordic beanies. She has her arm around another girl. She is mad at me, I can only assume because I missed her supposed birthday party. The first friend mutters under her breath to be nice.

After the service we scour the pews in the balcony for a siren (the mythical kind) of sorts. As soon as we approach her, she teleports to the next level up.






Later, I am transporting my pets from one location to another. A beautiful white kitten catches my attention, and I can't decide if I can put my mouse and my ant down to pet the kitten. I do so, and thankfully, they do not wander off. All three animals begin to form high-pitched gibberish, which I know will turn into real speech in the next week or so. In fact, it seems to be doing so faster than I had expected. I am relieved.

Worst Parents Ever.

I am lounging uncomfortably on a small gray sofa. The tall stranger sitting next to me has his arm around my shoulder; I assume we are married. The television program we are watching appears to be about parenting. Suddenly the screen goes blank and a stern voice asks, "It's ten o'clock - do YOU know where your baby is?"
I smile and pat my stomach, only to realize that the fetus is not longer in my womb where it should be. The tall stranger and I ransack the house looking for it.

Olympics?

I finally decide to go running. After about a block, I realize that my form is excellent, and I should try and go faster. As I lengthen my stride, I see a group of runners ahead of me, dressed in bright yellow full-body spandex suits. They all have huge thighs, and I assume they are sprinters who are really, really good. Somehow I catch up to them with little effort and fall into the middle of their pack. They ask me if I'm Julie, and I say yes.

We get to a huge track near Chelsea Park that I am surprised I'd never seen. One of the runners, a tall attractive blond, gives me a yellow spandex suit. When I put it on, I notice that my thighs also look huge and muscled. I realize that I am at the Olympics, and they have mistaken me for one of the competitors. I feel guilty for taking her spot, but it's really her fault for not being there.

The tall attractive blond gives me a glass of water but reminds me not to drink it. I notice that his glass of water says Bri on the side, which I assume is short for Brian. Mine says Julie. Again I feel guilty, but I'm excited for the race.

There are four runners on the starting line. I am on the outside lane, but we don't have a staggered start. As I begin to point out the unfairness of the situation, the gun goes off and I start sprinting. I don't know how long the race is. The woman on the inside of the track is way ahead of everyone, and as she completes a lap, she stops running. I look to the side. There is one runner way behind me, but Bri is right next to me, and I know that I have to beat him if I want Julie to win the Olympics. As we round the last turn, Bri dumps his glass of water out in front of him, and the stream of water races around the bend of his lane, way ahead of us. I dump my water out too, but not all of it. My stream of water starts to catch up to his, and when his is inches from the finish line, I dump the rest of mine out and it shoots ahead just in time to beat him.

The first thing I do after I get my silver medal is take off my hideous spandex suit. I look to the middle of the field and I see Bri laughing with some of his fans. I decide that I really like the name Bri. I try to ask him if he wants to go get some coffee, but he can't hear what I'm saying.

Anti venom

A baby girl has been bitten by one of the many venomous snakes kept in the outdoor laboratory with glass walls. She is in a coma and will die soon if she does not receive the anti venom. All the other scientists wander around aimlessly because they have no volunteers to help in the brewing process. Exasperatedly, I tell them I will help if they will hurry their asses up and get it made. Walking down the hallway with one white lab coated woman with horn-rimmed glasses, she tells me what role I will play in making the anti venom. I do not understand her instructions at all.
We watch the other scientists get the ingredients by sliding the snakes around on a sieve with beauty bark. The snakes react to the beauty bark and secrete a liquid onto a cookie sheet, which the scientists pour into my mouth and instruct me to swish until they tell me it is done. The liquid tastes and feels like strawberry fluoride mouthwash. The scientists also look like dental hygienists, I now realize.

I spend the rest of the dream wandering around swishing the strawberry-flavored anti-venom in my cheeks, but I can't help but swallow a little. I wonder if this will adversely affect my health.

At one point I sit on a staircase next to a girl who tries to start a friendly conversation with me. All I can do is flap my hands around, trying to mime that I am helping to produce an anti venom in my cheeks for a baby girl in a coma, and drool a bit. I think it is unfortunate that the girl probably thinks I have some sort of mental handicap now, because I would have liked to be her friend.

At another point, a different set of adults in white lab coats is after me, and I try to hide from them by climbing up the rose trellis on the outside of the old house in which they are looking for me, but it only leads me to a large window, through which they spot me. While climbing down I lose the remaining fluoride/anti venom from my cheeks, but by this time it seems the scientists have forgotten about me and the baby in a coma and moved on to a more interesting research problem.

Worst Musical In the History of Mankind

I am called down from the audience to participate in a two-hour musical. They failed to tell me that it was a musical, but when I get onstage there is noone to play the part of young Hugh Jackman.
While I have deliberated about which part I am to play, everyone has rehearsed their lines and their dance steps. The musical has begun. I stumble through the steps awkwardly in my fuzzy rabbit suit, and though my singing has improved considerably, I am still the worst person in the cast. I resolve never to get onstage again. I am furious with my mediocrity.
The show is over, everyone is leaving to go to a restaurant. Noone will drive me there. They say I ruined the performance.

I find myself on top of a grassy knoll which has grown over our old house. A large purple balloon floats over the edge. I gather that I am supposed to cling to it and find myself carried away.

June

I am in Wilder’s classroom, sitting in a desk that is slightly askew from all the rest. There are people here and there chatting quietly, but for the most part the room is empty and nobody seems to be working. Wilder appears at the side of my desk and leans over, close to my face, smirking at me. I feel like I’m supposed to be asking him a question, so I ask when I should give him my extended essay so he can mail it. He tells me, with an unusual amount of sarcasm, that if I had been paying attention I would know that extended essays were due months ago, but we can’t mail them until Andrew turns his in. I am severely annoyed by Wilder’s ignorance; if he had been paying attention, he would know that Andrew is on a ski trip and won’t be back at school until next Monday. I inform Wilder of this, with less attitude than I had been aiming for, but nonetheless Andrew seems to be in a lot of trouble over this, and I’m worried.

I roll my eyes and pull an apple out of my pocket.

Suddenly Andrew bursts in the door saying “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” over and over again. He is moving briskly, but Wilder moves slowly enough to counteract Andrew’s speed. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Andrew keeps saying, to nobody in particular. I try to tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about but he just looks at me and tells me again and again, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I grab his sleeve and pull him out the door because Wilder’s room has suddenly become unbearably crowded. The hallway is also crowded, but I just elbow my way through the brightly dressed freshmen lingering by their lockers. I am trying to talk to Andrew about Big Event, because that’s where we are trying to go. I tell him that Big Event is going to be especially warm, and I ask him why he’s wearing long sleeves. I also tell him that I’m glad it’s June and we can graduate soon. He nods his head. But he’s still apologizing repeatedly to me; at least, I can hear him telling me “sorry, sorry, sorry” but his mouth is not moving anymore. I realize that we’ve been walking forward this whole time but we haven’t moved at all.

Unfortunate school day

At school, I get ready for a dance audition. When I go to class in studio 266, Mr. Fosberg chats with the boys, waiting his turn to try the combination from the corner.

Uncomfortable, I leave and have to jump onto a legde to avoid Kris, but accidentally avoid Modessa as well.

I try to go home on one of the 70s, but instead of getting on a bus I end up in the giant auditorium on Campus Parkway, where I get the results of my math midterm. The next class is Engineering, and I wonder is I should stay.

Famous Figures

The flashlight with no batteries works.

I make out with Michelangelo/Chewbacca in a secret cupboard in the basement of the house where I live.

I am recruited by Laura to be part of a new fashion show. I learn at the rehearsal at Burien Dance Theatre that it is a modern dance fashion show, and my theme is "happy". The first time through I am really bummed to have such a stupid theme and dance rather poorly, but afterwards I realize the awesome possibilities of the show.

I go outside to sit down with my dad on the curb by a huge solid blue fence, which is about fifty feet high, enclosing a large portion of the street. Water splashes over the top, which I conclude must be from the waterslide on the other side, and this is the Burien February Carnival. Anna walks by and asks what I am doing in Burien, but listens uninterestedly as I tell her about the improvisational modern dance fashion show.

I go back inside for the second rehearsal of the day, and this time feel really connected. The musicians seem rather impressed and the stage hands send out the other dancers. They are all breakdancing men. Feathers fall from te ceiling near the end of the number and inspire me to try to fly again. I can't believe I almost forgot that I fly.

After rehearsal I ride the 125 through Shorewood with Kathryn. It is almost Christmas and I haven't done nearly enough shopping, so I stay on the motionless bus for a long time, hoping it will go back downtown. It is a very sunny December. In fact is is alot more like June. Kathryn informs me that my mother has decided that when my lease is up in Fremont at the end of February, I will move in with her family because I will be less likely to catch the bus in the morning. This is a terrible solution, and I get off the bus and walk back and forth, east to west along some streets in Arbor Heights, trying to see which one will lead to Roxhill Park, where my mom is walking the dog. Teenagers look at me strangely as a pace the street.

At the park I worry about getting my shoes muddy wading through the swamp, but they have fixed that. I catch up to my mom, who walks hurriedly in the direction I just came from. A group of young Latino boys in purple jerseys plays soccer nearby, and when the ball comes in our direction my mom kicks it back to them neatly.

Back in Shorewood my parents have a Chelan condo, which my mother shows to the Kolpacks, who will be staying with us. I show a friend the coat closet, and then switch into narration mode. I am Chrissy, the youngest child, who can't help but dance, regardless of the consequences. I come out of the closet dancing to some really good indie pop, and meet my dance partner in the living room. This is another part of rehearsal for the fashion/dance show. My partner is in his twenties, and I wonder about the implications of dancing like this with an older man, but in the true character Chrissy, I feel compelled to keep dancing (plus he's really good).

When we are through with the rehearsal the man mentions that he was supposed to enter into a simulation like the one I had with Michelangelo/Chewbacca, and that other one with Descartes, only in his he is supposed to be Nicole Kidman's husband. Subconsciously I am aware the Nicole Kidman's husband is Daniel Craig, and I try to tell the man it will not work, because I'm fairly sure he's already a movie star, and I don't think movie stars are allowed to participate in simulations of movie stars.

He doesn't think it matters, and, determined to complete his assignment, begins the simulation anyway. I am supposed to supervise, but I have trouble telling which man sitting at a nearby table in the smoke-filled club is my dance partner and which men are part of the simulation, because they are all incredibly handsome and masculine-looking, and they are all making kissy faces at Nicole Kidman, who is sitting at the table across the way.

I notice the band playing on stage, and get really excited when I recognize the profile Count Basie at the piano. I think about this a bit, and decide that it can't really be Count Basie, but some lookalike they hired for the simulation. It dawns on me that Nicole Kidman isn't really Nicole Kidman either.

Greetings from the future! I come in peace! Iceland is an interesting country that I have yet to explore. I touched down about two hours ago after being bumped to first class (supoib!). Since then, I have: set off Customs, rode a bus for 1,200 ISK to my hotel, had long shower and, as of now, am sitting in my underwear looking out my window.

This is what I see:













Until later, later.

It is 3AM. I have just woken up from a slumber fueled by sleeping pills. I just transfered over $1600 into my checking account. I leave at six.

Eugene

I ride my bicycle backwards through a philbert orchard. Light comes thickly through the branches and is opaque. Someone puts on a coat.

All I Can Remember

I ran after a lizard. I was also a man again. The lizard told me things about my life if I could catch him, and I caught him twice.

Two Pictures of Sunflowers

Rick tells me he isn't going to teach class any more but that I should maybe continue studying Frank O'Hara. I nod. Rick's flannel shirt is very red and he darts off. Then I stare at the lights in my living room.

Survivor: Youth Group

I am with the church youth group. Terry and Jane inform us that we will be playing Survivor Extreme at the Point Defiance Zoo. As we stride down the dark path, I wonder what this will entail.
We are debriefed at a picnick table near the simian house. We are each assigned a card to locate, then to bring back to the table, and we will get another one to find. Terry returns from distributing the cards, and we are told to begin!
I take off to my right, where I find an enormous topiary enclosure, with strange sculptures interspersed. Right off I spot my card, the nine of clubs, but it is in a complete deck of cards. It seems that to hide the cards, Terry took one of each from 52 different decks and hid them, then left the extras lying around. It seems unethical for me to take my card from the deck I've found, because that's not technically what I'm trying to locate.
Before I can make up my mind, a crowd comes in and begins tearing the leftover decks apart, finding their cards and leaving the garden again. I am convinced that they are all cheating, and doggedly continue my search for a card that is not in one of those decks. The other kids, though, have strewn all the cards around and it is now impossible to tell which cards are part of the game and which are not. I am distraught over the corruption of the system, and sit down on a pyramid shaped bush, tears coming to the corners of my eyes.

Epic

We begin the saga on a flat, featureless prairie. We are on the outskirts of some sort of amusement park, but there are ominous overtones to the place. Standing by a water slide that is reminiscent of hamster mazes, we discuss the issue of the park's evil overlord and the many deaths that have recently occurred. We decide that escape is a necessity.
I go to saddle my horse, only to find that I never unsaddled him yesterday. He is quite disgruntled at that fact, and when I lead him out of the pen he bites my arm and will not release me. He is carfeul not to hurt me, though.
As we ride out of the yard, we are confronted by a large, rusty, hovering robot. It cackles evilly. I try to ride around it, but it is having none of that.
It morphs into a pyramidic wizard, clad in purple robes and hat. He transports us onto a flate plane of ice, where the sun shines glaringly and there is nothing but ice and sky. As he flies around us, he leaves a technicolor trail of slime behind him, which we must avoid in our escape. As my horse and I are fairly adept at avoiding him, he summons two beings, one female, one male. The man, which I gather to be the sun, glimmers with moving colors on the cool end of the spectrum. The female, the moon, shines with orange, magenta, and yellow, much like the slime in Mario Sunshine. I avoid their balls of slime, galloping across the ice, and scoop up the penguin that they are suddenly attempting to obliterate. We make it past a stand of pine trees and are transported out of the ice plain.

I am standing on the sidewalk along 1st at night. I am wearing some sort of spandex suit, bright yellow, designed to keep me from being seen. My companion, a veteran at these nighttime excursions, is clad in white spandex. We are trying to cross the street. He claims that if he flashes a very bright light from the stoplight above, the people in the cars will not be able to see us and we can cross in safety.
Doing so, we scoot across the street and to the pet store. My friend picks the lock and we sneak inside. I look through the bin of colored plastic snakes for the ones that will provide us with a key, as he goes to the back to look for something. Sorting through the snakes, a notice a small child standing in the doorway, curiously. I decide they will not do any harm and go back to my snake-sorting. Glancing back up at the child I realize it's actually a skunk! I exit hastily.

I am a butler for a wealthy victorian family. I have found an estate for them to live on. Visiting the house, the real estate agent says it will be good publicity to have an idyllic family living here. In a yellow and green bedroom filled with sun, the wife says she'll not be idylllic if she were paid a million dollars. The agent looks disappointed, but sells us the house anyway.
Some time later, the daughters are seen playing on the lawn as a procession of dignitaries winds its way up the drive to the house. As a wealthy man gives a speech, the wife comes downstairs and announces that her husband is dead. At this, the man speaking goes stiff and dies, too. They try to bring the husband down the stairs into the room, but realizing that two dead men in a room is bad luck, they stop hastily and try to backtrack. The only succeed in dropping the dead man, much to their consternation.

Dark Staircase

Kellen and I decide to visit Holly at the video store. We go inside, but beyond the counters there are no movies, but instead the interior of a house. Holly tells us to put our bags down by the shoe rack. "Good thing you're both wearing black," she tells us. I look down and realize that I am wearing the same black ball gown I wore to winter ball. Kellen isn't actually wearing black, but apparently Holly hasn't noticed.
Cameron comes from behind the counter (he and Holly are both wearing their black work uniforms). He tells us that the party us upstairs, and he'll see us up there as soon as we're ready. As they both leave, I notice that the house is very dark, and the gray carpeting seems to glow where the moonlight shines through the sliding glass door. Kellen and I can hear muffled music from the party going on above us. We start up the staircase, even though we can't see the top because of the darkness.
We reach a square landing after only ten stairs, and the next staircase doubles back, quite like the emergency stairs in a multi-story hotel. I can see a balcony across the room, maybe three more stories up, where people are dancing. They are all wearing black.
I begin to notice that the stairs are getting steeper and narrower, although they are still carpeted. After five more flights, I realize that we should be at the party by now. But although I can still hear muffled music, I can no longer see a balcony, just dark walls. I wait for Kellen to catch up with me. Her black hair has come undone and is falling out all over the staircase. For some reason this does not worry me and I tell her we have to keep going.
Finally we reach what seems to be the last flight of stairs. It is so steep that, when I look up into it, it feels like I'm looking down into a deep chasm. The muffled music pulsates from deafening to inaudible. Kellen is terrified; she grabs my hand and tells me not to go up but I feel like I have to. I climb up one step, which by now is about two feet high and maybe six inches deep. As soon as my feet leave the ground, I feel myself being pulled upwards. Suddenly I am terrified. Kellen grabs my legs and pulls me back down, and we sprint back down the stairs until we are back by the shoe rack.
"We have to get out of here," I say, but I can't find my bag or my keys. I am frustrated by my dress. It won't let me move as quickly as I need to. I know we have to leave before the thing at the top of the staircase finds us, but I can't find anything. I decide to take off my dress. I have regular clothes underneath, but as soon as I get my dress off, the regular clothes begin to morph back into the dress. Finally I spot my bag underneath the shoe rack, and I lay down on my stomach so I can reach it. When I get up, Kellen is gone. The music is almost deafening. I know that I am going to die.

Hallmark Propaganda

I try to tell him I don't love him. He won't listen. He throws a tome on my desk, and the thud shakes the whole building. I open it. The pages are made of frosted glass, with something red written behind them. I can't make it out, but the concept reminds me of a Hallmark store on Valentine's day.

I awake with the word "subcutaneous" stuck in my head, such that I have to look it up to make sure it's real.

subcutaneous:
1. situated or lying under the skin, as tissue.
2. performed or introduced under the skin, as an injection by syringe.
3. living below the several layers of skin, as certain parasites.

In Which Aliens Take Over the Academic Centers of the World

It is the first day of classes, my first day on a college campus. The entirety of the freshman class except for me knows what they are doing, as I have arrived slightly late. I am slightly frustrated with my mother for delaying my arrival. From my position on a hill above the rest of campus, I gather that as an introductory activity someone has organized a scavenger hunt. A group of students is headed my way, and I drop into step behind them, for lack of anything better to do.
We hike down the hill, and the sun has set. They abandon me in the fluorescent darkness at some sort of landing pad. I find myself prisoner to a platoon of hostile aliens. Little do they know, we have gathered our forces and are organizing a counerstrike against the invasion. The hour of the university's salvation draws nigh.
The landing bay doors open, signaling the arrival of an alien ship and an orange light, as if from the inside of a volcano, spills over the platform. As the craft begins its descent, myself and the other prisoners draw our weapons. We shoot our guards, then hide behind a bulwark as the invaders disembark. Before they can react, we reveal ourselves, kill everyone, and claim the ship as our own.
The inside is very cramped and the controls are, obviously, in a language unknown to us. But we are able to contact other ships in the force that our compatriots have seized. We begin our pincer movement, zeroing in on the center of the university, the hub of the alien activity.
To strengthen their defenses, the extraterrestrials have grown rock around their control center. To reach them, we must burrow through the carapace to the center. We enter through an abandoned mine shaft. The steel flooring impedes our small vessel somewhat, but the rising temperature soon melts the floors, widening the shafts and dissipateing that concern. The glowing magma contrasts the neon green lights of the cockpit.

Trysts, Tumult and Ten Days in a Foreign Land

Two years of indiscretion and emotional turmoil as the lover from the shadows had ended over a year ago. The feelings I had thought were long dead. Today everything came flooding back and I try my best to stay afloat while the swirling vortex of my heart pulls me down. The helicopter is overhead and has lowered a rope; I hang on but am held down by an anchor. My only rescue comes in the form of a plane set to depart at six thirty in the morning for the Arctic Circle. Ten days of introspection and hopefully I will come out clean.

I just looked in the mirror and noticed that I have laugh lines. I'm happy.

A Four Pack of Novelty Alien Rats

In the kitchen at Solstice, I examine a package of four novelty "alien rats". Each one has its own personality, and I think it's kind of a cute idea. However, I certainly do not expect them to leap out of the package and scurry off as soon as I open it. I run into the cafe, pleading with my sister and mom to help me capture Amelia, Susan, Bob, and Gary, but alas, they have already hidden. Finally, I spot a suspicious looking pastry bag on the floor, grab it up, keeping it carefully closed, and take it to the back where I try to extract the rat inside like icing. However, either the rat has been too quick for me, or it was actually just some cardamom cake inside, but I fail to catch any rats.

I leave work and walk down 45th with Laura. I start noticing a large number of people dressed strangely, emanating it seems from American Apparel and walking west on 45th in groups. They are all females in the 18-29 range, very pretty, extremely tall and very skinny. They are all wearing hip variations of black clothing from American Apparel, but their faces are all painted white and their hair disheveled. I think it is some sort of urban fashion show, but Laura reminds me that with is the dead bride remembrance parade. It was like a rather morbid party.

We get to Laura's apartment, which is on about the tenth floor of an apartment building on 45th, she prepares a bed for me by dragging her mattress out onto the north-facing balcony. This is something she does all the time on nice nights. I thank her, pull the comforter up when my phone rings. It is my mother, asking a question about financial aid. I assume she's talking about the FAFSA, which I have to finish soon, but I see the form she has with her at Solstice bears the title, "Inheritance Trust Fund", which has something to do with my (living) grandma. My mom needs my signature on one section I can't understand by her description over the phone. I look at the image in my mind and see this section is titled "Optional Serenade Authorization", which authorizes the government officials to serenade me upon my inheritance of the trust fund. I tell my mom that this really isn't urgent, hang up, and go to sleep.

When I wake up the sun is shining from behind the apartment building on the south side of all the buildings I can see. I notice that the University Tower has a really beautiful alignment with one of the dorms from this position, and feel like I should draw it for homework. Then I notice that the mattress I'm laying on is level with the railing of the balcony, and is not full-size, as I had thought, but actually a twin. As I am discovering this Garett, Laura's boyfriend gets out of bed in the living room, and I am surprised that he is not Lucas, Laura's roommate.

I get out of bed, which is now on the patio behind my house, where my family is having a sort of reunion, and my cousin asks for help buying her friend a birthday present. We go to Target, where I pick out a book of crosswords and look for a set of pencils. We opt out of the crossword-patterned pencils and then get distracted by the stationery, but it is not as cute as it once was.

Quiet Wednesday

I am going to school for the day with Kathryn; we just have to cross the street by the HUB to get to the old MRHS campus. Before we cross the street, I catch a glimpse of the guy that came in to apply to Solstice a few days ago who has the most awesome and ridiculous curly hair ever. I try to point him out to Kathryn, but just as we are about to cross the street she slumps over onto me, not concerned with conversation, and I have to carry her across.
At school, Kathryn informs me that the administration has decided that today is a "Quiet Wednesday", and we have only five minutes to get to class before we will spend the day being silent in each period. I go into an adviser's office and spot a stack of applications for the Summer in Paris study abroad. None of them are in envelopes, and I feel encouraged by this, since my application will be better presented in a nice envelope. I pick one up off the table to read-

A New Line of Furniture

At a dusty strip mall in the middle of nowhere. We are having some sort of competition. A timer is set to 7 minutes and 27 seconds. We have that much time to run through the mall and grab the things we want to buy. I am excited because I know exactly what I want.
When the timer starts, I make a beeline for the bookstore. I am looking for the sequel to the book I recently finished, but they don't have it, so I grab one by the same author, but it doesn't look as good. My next stop is a furniture store, where I pick up a curved wooden chair that looks somewhat asian. I continue down the line, and find that they are constructing an Ikea. They are letting people in to the part that is already completed, so I set down my stuff and walk through two large, dark doors.
Inside the building it is night, and several people are standing around. They don't seem to know what to do, so I open another set of doors. Here is some sort of balcony that opens onto train tracks. Towering above us are dark and futuristic buildings, glinting strangely. Everyone stares in wonderment.
As we stand, surrounded by black tile and palm-like plants, we hear a roaring sound and lights appear at the end of the tunnel into which the train tracks disappear. Into view come two large old Model T Fords, with the mottled color of rusty iron. The first misses us and shoots off the other end of the balcony, but the second one is headed straight for us. I hurry everyone through the doors and slam them shut just in time. I hear the angry motor slam against the doors, but they hold. We hurry out of the building, unsure exactly of what Ikea hopes to achieve by that installment. Perhaps it is a new line of furniture.
Back outside, we stand in front of the sepia facades that make the stores look abandoned. I realize that the timer has run out in the excitement, and I didn't get nearly as much as I wanted. I realize that I would rather have had the experience of carnivorous antique trucks than material posessions. I pick up my chair and book and the three of us walk off through the tall grass.

I am present at the filming of "Psycho." It seems to have changed into some sort of ghost film, and they have hired real ghosts and rented a real haunted house. They tell me it is actually a documentary and put me in the house, locking the door behind. As the lights flicker on and off and horrid apparitions fly through the room, I cling to the chandelier in terror. It is safer than the ground.
At the premier of the movie I am forced to relive my experience, despite their obvious traumatic effects.

My family is searching for a certain hotel room, because there is someone that needs rescuing. The hotel is a single-floor maze of stucco and reflective tiles. I attempt to leave, as I am certain that the ghosts that haunted me during the filming have followed me here. But we continue on, despite encountering the extremely creepy and lecherous manager of the place.

Diorama masonry anxiety

I am at a rehearsal for the end 0f quarter art presentation near a campfire. While the person before me presents their small diorama of a Native American lodge and does an interpretive dance dressed as a maroon and gold eagle, I light a fire out of small twigs and bits of dried grass in the tiny barbecue in my diorama. When it is my turn I present the diorama and bake a tiny piece of ethnic food on the barbecue.
After the presentation I am in the car with my mom and brother, and I thank my brother for letting me use his diorama for the presentation while I finish mine. I read the thick brochure of guidelines for the project and find a few lines in tiny print that say the lodge must be decorated in the tribe colors of maroon and gold, and the barbecue must be constructed of stone, and produce three different types of food from three areas for the judges. This means I will have to completely reconstruct my entire diorama by tomorrow, and I need to go forage for special supplies.
Anna, Kathryn, and I all dress up in fancy dresses and high heels for our foraging adventure and at 8 pm head out for an all night adventure. To get our lodge-building supplies we must follow a path through a muddy forest enclosed in a tunnel under a school building. It takes me a long time to find the appropriate stones for the masonry of the barbecue, and on the way back I slip in the mud and lose most of them.
Everyone else turns in their finished diorama, and I must explain to Shirley that I haven't completed my final project again.

Chutes and Ladders

We are entering the Puyallup Fair. We have some sort of priviledged pass, but we have yet to purchase them. We are already late for the event we were hoping to attend, so we hurry up to a ticket kiosk, set somewhat apart from the others. As soon as everyone has their tickets, we are told to put them in a large metal box, much like a postbox. Someone, I don't see who, makes to deposit theirs, but as soon as they get close, the box grabs their arm and devours them. Everyone is alarmed, but the person calls from below that the landing is fine and to hurry up, we're going to miss the show. One by one, we cautiously approach the postbox and are devoured in turn. I find myself in a small metal chute, with a square of sunny cement below. I am afraid of landing wrong and injuring myself. I wedge my feet against the edges of the chute and stay there. Jenny and Alex coax me down with the reasoning that the person following me would soon crush me, and I drop to the ground, thankfully without harm. I find our small party underneath a very large space shuttle, and in the distance I can see a large crowd gathered, and I hear people cheering. After Kellen arrives, we seal the chute to deterr the FBI agents from following us, and joing the throng of cheering people

We appear to be on a road trip. Andrew is driving; Holly is in the front and I am in the back with Kellen. Suddenly she demands to stop, and is unusually snappy with us, so we decide we had better stop, even though we are running late. We pull into the parking lot of a department store, and Kellen rushes inside as Andrew and I get out to stretch our legs. It starts to rain. We see a crowd of people standing underneath a gigantic statue of an ant but it looks a bit unstable to me, so we find a picnic table underneath some trees. As we sit down, everything around us disappears, and suddenly I find it very hard to concentrate on anything Andrew is saying because I am so amazed by the infinite grass fields that surround us.
Andrew begins to tell me about some freshman girl that has taken an interest in him. Her name actually consists of five names, and I feel slightly sorry for her, and wonder what her parents were thinking. Trying to describe her, he holds his hand down to his waist: "She's about this tall." I vaguely wonder if he is crazy - she couldn't be just three feet tall - then decide that he must mean three feet taller than the picnic table. Suddenly I think of the time, and as soon as I stand up, we are back in the parking lot of the department store. I look in the glass doors and I see Kellen waiting patiently on the floating escalator that will carry her to the door. Somewhere along the way she has lost her pants and hasn't noticed, but I decide not to tell her because we would lose time while she tried to go back and get them.
Now I am in Mr. Wilder's classroom, sitting in the desk that I sat in last year. There are a few other people in the classroom, talking quietly. Wilder comes over to me and demands, "What makes you angry?" I am puzzled by his question, and he repeats it three times before I shrug and pretend to be captivated by a poster across the room. He leans down next to my face, and says quietly, "Do you get mad when the little girl on your team doesn't get enough points?" Now I am even more confused, and I slip out the other side of my desk and ask him what I can do to get out of here.
He tells me he has dropped his DVD player outside, and he wants me to go get it. I walk outside and I see it laying on the grass, in pieces. Looking out to the street, I am frightened by a gigantic ant, possibly the statue that was in the department store parking lot, who is chasing a crowd of screaming people. I fumble to pick up the bits of DVD player, when off to my left, I see my old ballet teacher, Miss Sandy, walking towards me. She looks angry, and she is foaming at the mouth. I begin to run. I stop along the way to pick up an open physics book lying in the grass (I'm positive it's mine), and even though I'm running and Miss Sandy is walking, she is gaining on me. Finally I reach the door, where the janitor lets me in with a smile, then disappears.
I walk into my room, where there is a party going on. Wilder takes the DVD player out of my hands and starts a movie. As I sit on my bed, I notice Andrew cuddling a three-foot long sock bunny. I realize that the stuffed bunny is the girl he was telling me about, the one with five names, and I wonder if maybe he's been overworked and that's why he's acting so strangely.

Why fly when you could hop?

I was on a class field trip to go camping in a forest. I had already scouted out the location, and I knew that if I didn't get to the front of the line I would miss the best campsites, so I forged an alliance with a very tall boy with mad hopping skillz. We hopped from one branch of the steep zigzagging trail to the next with ease, but nearly slipped down several times due to the heavy downpour. Fearing we would fly off the steep wall of the ravine and into space, I used my tiny invisible wings to control our movement. I wondered what the purpose of having such tiny invisible wings might be, and decided I was actually a semi-visible tiger-dragon.
We got to the bottom of the path, but I realized that the best campsites were actually in the middle because the bottom ones were actually sloping into the river. By then it was too late to claim any of the good ones, so my slightly amphibious friend and I hopped/flew to a red auditorium where we were to watch an educational film instead.

A neighborhood crisis, everything is dark and cold. We are told not to venture out into the fog until daybreak. I am aware of someone going for help, traveling out onto the frozen lake in search of something. The light moves off from shore, and I am left alone.
The fog still clings obstinately to the area come morning. In the classic fashion, our street congregates in front of our house to discuss the recent goings on. The air is still damp and cold, and the meeting is soon adjourned. Everyone returns to their houses, but my mother, sister and I head uphill to the lakefront, to see if we can help with the search.

There seems to be a soft morning light burning through the fog. There is a very large and intricate slide. Instead of being a regular water slide, it seems to be generating some sort of force field around the tube, in which riders can slide any way and however fast they want to. I clamber on, and am zipped away by the magnetic field. I gain an incredible amount of speed and upon reaching the peak of the slide I launch myself off and into the morning sun.

It is no longer morning. The light is warm and yellow, that of late afternoon. As part of the camp curriculum, they are teaching us how to skateboard. I don a helmet and pads. but when the teacher tells us to begin, I immediately skate over the edge of the ramp and huddle behind it. There, Matt, Meaghan and Eva have begun a game of underground basketball. We play, with the light filtering through the trees and dark, rusty iron walls cut similar to pegboard. I find I can skate up the ramps and halfpipes without a board, aloowing me to slam dunk quite effectively. I soon tire of basketball, and dash past the teacher into the open, away from the iron and concrete. I stumble along the uneven path, watching the dust motes in the sun.

In which I recover a lost child, encounter a devilish sea creature, and save the day again.

I find myself sitting in a restaurant booth on the wall of a large room. There is a stage at one end, and in the middle there is a large mossy rock. We appear to be attending some sort of social function, most likely to do with camp, as I recognize several leaders. I myself am one. There seems to be a lot of attention on me, so I think perhaps it is my birthday and we are celebrating.
Miss Amy announces the last party game. One of the small girls has found a golden box with some valuables in it. The first to retrieve the girl from the crowd of people in the center of the building wins. A horn blows, and I soon find myself in the middle of the crowd. I see the girl slipping towards where I was sitting minutes ago, and I make to follow her, but I find an obese woman in my way. I try to go around, but a balding man and his wife are standing, talking to some acquaintances. It seems that the crowd moves to block all but one way, leaving me with very little decision to make. I give up on finding the girl, and let the path guide me back to the edge of the game boundaries. On passing other booths, I stop to visit my sister and her friends, who are not playing. With them is the little girl that I was chasing, who I hadn't recognized as one of Kyra's groupies. She is much younger, four or five, and is wearing a puffy pink jacket. She smiles at me and I pick her up, depositing her on the stage as the game dissolves. I am announced the winner.
Sitting in my booth celebrating, some of Kyra's friends arrive with a camera. They get pictures of me glaring at them; of me squinting at a guy I think is a jerk but incredibly attractive. I hold my shirt out for them to take a picture of, but it comes out a black and red mass. I am disappointed.

The party seems to be over and the building has filled with water. I make sure that everyone else has made it out. Before I can row my dinghy out the front gate, I am stopped by a golden lizard-like creature with a grappling hook. Every time I make for the exit, he hooks it onto the edge of my boat and pulls me back. Time is of the essence, so I let him climb into my boat and I row us out of the building.
As we are rowing under a rocky overhang, we see a sort of inverse waterfall. It seems to be a mode of transportation to the top of the cliff. We jump into the waterfall and it deposits us wetly onto a thin patch of grass.
At the top of the hill there is a large mansion/castle/musuem. We see a large, evil-looking man leading his entourage up the drive to the building. In a clear briefcase he carries what appears to be a rare sort of octopus. My lizard friend becomes very agitated, insisting that we retrieve the octopus from the landlubbing fiend.
We follow the line of people at a discreet distance. When we reach the museum, we find the door wide open. We enter. The decor is very sanitary, flat gray, and there is nothing in the room but aquariums. We hear the man giving his party a tour of the building and follow his voive through the maze of his private collection.

Triangular Baby Arrangement

I cross 15th going towards the lawn next to Parrington, where there is going to be a croquet match. start to pull myself over the high cement wall to get onto the lawn, when I see that Kris is there talking to Michelle Burce. He yells my name as I stumble over the wall, and I worry that it looks like I am running towards him. I walk up to him very slowly, wait for him to say something, and look into his eyes. Then I slap him, which would have been alot more satisfying if I had done it harder, or perhaps with my right hand. I pause, he turns away to talk to someone else, and I walk off.

Solstice is just north of the Henry, and Derrick is working when I come in. I put on some Radiohead and leave for class.

Class is a lecture of about 50 people on Parrington Lawn. I sit near the front, and hear a voice that I recognize. It is the British girl who comes into Solstice, sitting next to Seamus from the fashion show. I turn around quickly, hoping they didn't see me look. We can hear the music from Soltice very clearly, and it starts skipping. It skips on the same phrase for nearly a minute, and finally I get up to go fix it.

Now I'm getting into an elevator in a Hospital. There is a nurse already inside, and three babies on the ground at her feet. I am really nervous that they will get injured on the hard floor, but the nurse talks to us cheerfully about their condition. They are all bundled up in cute little outfits, and face the same direction, with a tiny triangular reflective marker at each of their heads, like the ones large trucks put out on the road when they have to stop in the middle of the street. All of the babies have way too much hair; the one in the teal fleece jumper has thick wavy black hair and is incredibly obese.

Projection

On a road trip through a woody mountains. We stop for a naturalist tour to learn about how endangered the environment is, hopping out of the car by a river that is very nearly dry. The smell of pine trees and blackberries lingers, with a background of the Olympic Mountains at 200% resized. The color is faded cinematically faded, giving the feeling that it is very cold.

Our tour guide leads us down to the riverbank. There is a vehicle waiting for us, similar to the ones you see on the "duck" tours around Seattle, only it is made of wood and has no canopy. In my excitement, I hop in. The vessel is dislodged from the river bottom and I begin floating dowstream. The guide runs along the bank, instructing me on how to steer. The river seems to be tiered, and as I go flying off the first one, I'm afraid I will land in a shallow part of the river and wreck the wooden craft. Upon landing it doesn't smash, but it does get somewhat smaller. By the time I am three tiers downriver it has shrunk to the size of a jet ski and I am able to control it with considerable more ease. The next tier, I launch myself into the air and try to keep myself level. The boat is now similar to a pogo stick, with handlebars and a small shelf for my feet. I feel myself begin to tip backwards. I know I cannot right myself in time, so I flip myself backwards, just barely landing right side up. By this point the river is a small series of puddles, and I land on the sand and stagger off the craft. The other tourists are very impressed.

I shrug it off, and the tour guide leads us all out into the mudflats. We are assigned different areas and habitats. We begin by examining a large green tidepool for arthropods. I am irritated that I have forgotten to take off my socks and shoes in the excitement, for which I blame the tour guide. She didn't remind us.

Another of Andrew's great ideas

I am downtown after school with my backpack and drawing portfolio. I have to go to the Opera, so I stop in a stuffy women's clothing store, where many women buy fancy flip-flops. The saleswomen are suspicious that I am mentally handicapped, and have escaped the care of my parents, so they call my dad to take me home. He arrives, awkward in his suspenders and cut-off polar fleece, and talks to me soothingly.
Eventually I give up trying to go to the Opera and end up heading south on I-5 in the backseat of Andrew's car. I talk to Kathryn, who is in the front seat, then Alex appears and we understand each other. Then Ariana appears between us and sings. I rummage around in a paper sack and pull out a plain bagel that as been slightly tainted with blueberry. Ariana asks, "Is that for me?" and I lie and say yes. I take the blueberry-tainted pepper bagel instead.
Andrew mutters something about a watershed, and veers off sharply to the left just before the tunnel, where there is an exit I've never seen before. Although this is somewhere on Capitol Hill, the exit is steep and overgrown with blackberries, and leads us to a snowy field. We all jolt around as he drives us into the middle of the field. I hear a strange noise. Creaking.
"Andrew!" I say, "This is a lake! Are you trying to kill us? Get us off of here!"
He doeesn't believe me, go I get out of the car and brush the snow off the surface. It just looks like ice and Andrew is not convinced. I decide to at least save my own ass and head for the shore. As I walk, my footsteps reveal a different surface. Examining it more closely, I discover it is dark wooden planks, similar to the flooring in Solstice. Everyone else approaches and enthusiastically brushes off a large area. Andrew says, "Look, they've reinforced the lake, it's safe!" Then he comes up with the idea to use our matching planks to reinforce the lake even further, so everyone pulls out a hammer and nails planks on top of the existing ones.
Deciding it would be a better use of my time to go to work, I walk over to the espresso machine on the south end of the lake. The order is a triple tall two percent caramel latte to go, but there's something wrong with the beans... someone has filled the grinder with hard candies. This seems like a really bad idea, but I figure someone knew what they were doing, so I pull the shots. They come out multi-colored, and then deflate to a sugary residue.

Carnivores

My father helped me to shoplift a pack of beef jerky and a Yanni CD from a modernist-style Wal-Mart.

Afterwards, he took me to a phö street vendor and bought me a bowl full of chunks of beef, over which they poured a watery broth.

Hail falls; Picasso instructs

Hail, or something like it, is falling, but doesn’t collect on the ground. There are a number of black trees with no limbs (just gnarled, pointed trunks). Picasso speaks to me about automobiles and their futility. Briefly I see my Sanskrit book is falling apart in my hands. I am aware that Picasso is a school teacher with a rotating blackboard. This is amusing but troubling.

He is precarious

On the grey level top of a skyscraper, I am balancing the old wooden chair I sit in on its back two legs. The wind blows hard, and I wobble back and forth with my arms out for balance. Between my teeth I clench a paper cup which I am also spitting in to.

I hide in a white room. When Gabriella walks in I am surprised, and hit the tile floor with a pick, trying to escape. She turns to see me and I take two of something from my mouth and hide them in my pocket; then I crouch behind a stack of firewood.

Notice: the sock has been removed on account of the depressing foot

I am in the alley by the University Bookstore. By Orange King there is a large (3 feet long?) broken down stone foot (cracked and shattered) and a sign that says “NO SOCK ON ACCOUNT OF DEPRESSING FOOT”. The owner shakes his fist when I walk by.

In front of the bookstore a little Asian child is chasing a professor with two things that roll: an enormous stone head (matches the foot?) and poles which have been constructed to make a sort of steel sawhorse. The professor cries out “but i can’t take them both with me! Aiee! I ‘ll have to chase them down 15th!” He rounds the corner out of sight.

More poles are out front of the bookstore, and Alex Chen is using them to teach history to his students. I take one of the poles (~40 feet long) and clang it against another. It is exactly what I want for my next symphony. An eagle falls out of a cloud and hits the ground with a flop (or something), and the depressing foot and enormous head go rolling by again. How the hell am I going to move this pole. And what is even the deal with that eagle.